I had a dream that I was playing on the beach under a magenta sky. (Isn’t weird, until this summer I didn’t know what magenta was, now I know it is a rich deep purple.) Anyway. I was building sand castles. There were other kids building them too. My sand castle looked like any I would see any kid building at the beach, maybe a little better, but the other kids were building these wonderful structures out of sand. Tall towers, curved arches. Then one of the kids saw my castle and started laughing. The others came around and pointed, laughing at it and then at me.

One of the tall boys came over and kicked my sand castle over and told me that I was too stupid to build sand castles on their beach. That I was too stupid to even be on their beach. That stupid people like me needed to be fed to the monster. The other kids agreed and they all grabbed me and picked me up. They started chanting “monster, monster, monster.

Then I realized it was me they were calling the monster. I was the one who killed my sister, I was the monster. A new voice joined them and I twisted my head around and there was my sister, there was Mary and she was chanting monster, monster, monster.

Everything stopped. All the noise, all the movement, everything. The sky turned a calming blue. Then I was standing. Seth was there standing next to me, telling me it is just a dream. The kids were gone. Mary was gone. Seth standing there was like a rock, like my whole life was anchored with him.

“Let’s swim,” he said. And . . . and . . .  I can’t remember what happened after that.

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